Did you happen to see this Time article last year on increased miscarriage rates associated with the use of antidepressant drugs?  I was struck not by the findings or the data around the drugs – after all, most pharmacologic agents are discouraged during pregnancy – but I was struck by a comment specifically referring to the data collection and the elevated rates of miscarriage in women suffering from depression:

“…the study was an observational one that looked retrospectively at data already collected, which means that it's possible that some part of the miscarriage risk picked up by Bérard can be ascribed to depression itself rather than the drugs used to treat it. Indeed, the authors acknowledge that some past research has shown that women who are depressed during pregnancy are at increased risk of spontaneous abortion.”

What leaped off the page to me was the straightforward fact that depressed women have an elevated miscarriage risk.  The article did not dive into depression itself, which is obviously a multi-layered, complex human health risk. 

What my own mind immediately jumped to however, is something I see repeatedly in my practice as a fertility specialist—that women suppressing their fears or ambivalence around having children often have the longest and most difficult time achieving pregnancy.  It’s almost like their efforts are on one track and their spirit/emotion is on another, and perhaps, her body is confused.

I can’t count how many times I’ve seen a woman be courageous enough to admit and wrestle with her fears around parenting, or around her body changing, only to fall pregnant once she gets that honest and lets herself off the hook for being ….for being, well, human!

With children, and even in pregnancy, almost everything about life changes. Why wouldn’t this cause self-doubt? Don’t we humans often “want things both ways?”  It’s normal!  A woman can deeply want a child and be terrified she won’t know what to do, or be bad at parenting, or afraid she’ll resent not having control of her time anymore. This is only the beginning of a very long list of mental crimes she can convict herself of.

Many women facing fertility struggles have somehow drunk the KoolAid that you have to stay positive and be doubt-free in order to conceive. My experience as a fertility specialist is just the opposite.  When women open their hearts to ALL of who they are and ALL of their feelings, somehow the body relaxes into a higher state of fertility.  After all, she is birthing—herself!  Life begets life.  Somehow, when she permits herself all of herself, things start to change.  Always for the better.

Depression is painful and complex, and the treatment of it is often complicated as well. I do not pretend otherwise. This article is not about that.  I simply share with you all a moment of mental leapfrog I had while reading the article in Time, and my experience helping women bring forth their children. 

And it represents a wish for all on the fertility journey -- for the abundance and peace that comes from making room for ALL of who you are.

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1992988,00.html#ixzz0rzCYHgFm

Elizabeth Carpenter, MS, L.Ac., CEFP, Founder and Director of Oriens

It’s August 27^th, 2010 and today is the anniversary of my beloved Mother’s passing. It’s not an easy day for me… and this could very easily be a real downer for the topic of my blog. But the truth is I see it a day to celebrate her life, and mine.  I have also come to realize that by sharing my (our) grief, by telling the story of my (our) grief, I can come to understand it’s power of transformation. This, too, is something to celebrate.

My mother passed away after a long battle with cancer. While her struggle with the disease and the attending pain was devastating, the drawn out nature of her passing offered the unexpected gift of time to make sure all had been said, shared, and tenderly held. When I received a call from my father giving me the news that mother had been given a prognosis of “3-6 months”, the inevitable screeched into my mind, and all fantasies of dramatic recoveries were over.  I was sitting on the back porch of a friends’ home.  At the precise minute that I hung up the phone with my father, frozen with disbelief, poised to explode into tears, a hummingbird arrived, buzzing right up next to me, mere inches from my face.

Native American wisdom, which is a part of my personal spiritual practice, speaks of the “medicine” of animals. According to this belief, each animal has great wisdom, or medicine, to impart. It is said that Hummingbird conjures love as no other medicine does, and that Hummingbird feathers can open the heart.  Without an open and loving heart, you can’t drink deeply of the ‘nectar of the flower’, the great joys of life.

My mother loved life. Like a Hummingbird darting from one beautiful flower to another, she tasted the many joys of life. She brought people together and brought out the very best in them.  Harmony and beauty were her gifts to all of us. She had loads of Hummingbird medicine to share.

In that split second when I received the call and the hummingbird came, I had this strange glimmer of recognition that there was going to be a gift of beauty and joy for me. And somewhere inside me, I could have clearly articulated that, even in that moment.

My mother did not see 6 months, or even 3. She died 24 days later. I was with her in that tremendously painful and overwhelmingly beautiful moment. A precious gift.  The grief that engulfed me after her death became my great teacher.  Wise, unyielding, paradisiacal. She was my best friend in life, and her death broke my heart – but a broken heart is an open heart. 

I descended into grief, but slowly, ever so slowly, I ascended, with a deeper appreciation for the joys of life, for the gifts she gave me, in life, through her illness, and in her death.

In honor of my Mother, and the Hummingbird medicine that we now both have, I’ve hung a hummingbird feeder on my back porch. As I write, there are 2 beautiful Hummingbirds feeding.

Rev. Sandra Bargman
Spiritual Counseling
Meditation & Guided Imagery
Oriens Community Leader


Need to talk or work something through? Rev. Sandra can help!